Day I of actual teaching-50/50

I made it through my first day of actual teaching. Although, I wouldn't be lying if I said I enjoyed a happy hour get together where I drank my troubles away afterword. The first block of students I have are great. They are quiet, they are respectful, they let each other talk, they laugh at my jokes (as opposed to laughing at me), they don't complain, they ask good, sincere questions. My fourth block however...Jesus Christ. They are the same US Honors history, just a different consistency. These kids do the opposite of all the good qualities I just mentioned above. They have the attention span of hyper-active ADD monkeys. I'm not sure if it is the time of day, being so close to the end of the hour, my inability to hold some sort of innate authority, or if they are just an anomaly of a class. I'm leaning towards the latter actually. Several times I had to raise my voice, or stop talking to get them to shut the hell up. It was a battle for the whole period. And the questions?! My word! In the middle of the spiel on WWI alliance system I was asked, "Where are you teaching after this?". I whispered, "Don't you worry about it." During a bit on trench warfare I was asked where I got my shoes. "Dear god" I thought...its starting. All those horror stories I've heard-they are true. It happens. At moments like these you have no idea how much I want to swear at these kids. Not necessarily AT them, just sort of...towards them, you know, just to keep them in line and let them know I'm pissed off. Somehow the hour ended with me holding onto a bit of my sanity, but not by much though. Its so weird going from 5 years of university classes and behavior to a place where such an instant collapse of reason can occur. 

So today I have to adjust my strategies. All night was a constant psychological chess game where I make moves, but never take my hand of the piece and I lost some sleep because of it. I mainly fantasized wildly about having a yelling fit in front of them. I began to think-Can I hurt them somehow? Physically dominate them maybe? No...the administration frowns upon that and I probably couldn't finish my degree. Can I yell with all my lungs until they are nothing but a puddle of fear and hormones-telling them how miserable they are doing and that their current actions, if continued will cause them to be a failure at school, then ultimately life? No. Also frowned up. Can I do nothing and just ignore it? No. I'm sure that won't work. Do you send them to the office for misbehavior? Hell no. You instantly lose their and the administration's respect. Do you give them busy work? Sometimes. They work very quietly when they have worksheets in front of them. Unfortunately they don't understand how impersonal and sterile that makes things. Today, I will try to keep them more on task throughout lecture. Painstakingly pestering them to look up information for me, which will come at the sacrifice of quantity of information. 

So, after Mr. H's concurring that they are "loopy", we've settled on a heart to heart sort of thing that outlines how they will suffer if nobody can learn. I'm asking for their cooperation in a sense. I want to give them an ultimatum so badly...do this or so help me god I will make your life terrible. Ah! So badly! But I must be congenial and sincere. I will do this alone as Mr. H is taking care of some *cough cough "personal business" in St. Louis. I'm not too worried as I'll have to deal with it someday and there aren't any books that tell you what to do in this situation. Also, the school was kind enough to provide a sub for him. He came in on the 90-minute planning period, which is right after lunch, then gets to observe the classroom while I teach. Meanwhile he gets paid, I get NOTHING...except experience. This "experience" will not pay my sure to be increasing bar tab. Thanks Schools. 

Currently listening-teachers talk down the hall.

Currently reading-my lecture outline. Oh how the arts are neglected now...